Don't Be Financially Abused...

Did you know? There's another abuse of another kind you may not be aware of: Financial Abuse. What is it? 

It means having no access to the family's money. The woman may live in a comfortable house, wear good clothing, have children who are well-equipped with toys and luxuries, but have no control over what is spent or saved, over what moneys come into the family, or over any decisions about what will be bought. She is allowed no money for personal use.

From what I understand and read, it can can occur in any marriage and is often ignored because no physical harm is involved. This financial abuse is rarely discussed in therapy circles because it takes a back seat to physical, verbal or sexual abuse. Suffice it to say it can still be just as emotionally devastating to a woman.

Imagine your friend, a once vibrant woman who, when single, had a good corporate job, earned an excellent salary and had the respect of her colleagues at work. One day she meets the man of her dreams and falls in love. They get married, but little does she know that he wants her to stay home and be a full-time homemaker. She becomes pregnant even if she isn't ready to be a mother. Deep down, she feels that she is happiest when pursuing her career.

What are the signs?

• Telling his wife to quit her job so she can stay home and take care of the kids.
• Confiscating his wife's assets and other financial resources and forbidding her from handling money or incurring expenses that he does not allow.
• Using his wife's financial assets to his advantage and depriving her of her rights to enjoy what is financially and rightfully hers.
• Taking away his wife's credit cards and providing only a sufficient amount of money to pay for the day-to-day.

A variation of this economic abuse is also apparent in a relationship where the husband allows his wife to work, but regains control of her pay checque and does not give her the opportunity to make any financial decisions.

Are you in a marriage or relationship, or know of others suffering this abuse? There is a way out. Know your rights and ultimately, put yourself (and children if you have any) first. They'll learn by the lead and example you set. Be strong and if you have a daughter, would you want her to accept any less?